


Between Worlds

by ok_thanks



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, partially
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 00:43:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6173266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ok_thanks/pseuds/ok_thanks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Claude wakes up in Memphis, in Aspen, in Amsterdam, in Sydney.  Some days he doesn’t think about Sid. Some days he lies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Between Worlds

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by A Taxonomy of Universes by 7iris, which was A1
> 
> Basically Claude wakes up in different versions of his life sometimes, usually Sid is there too.

Claude wakes up in Ottawa, but something isn’t right. This isn’t his world.

Claude wakes up in Philly the next day and feels solid. He goes to practice, plays xbox with Brayden, goes to sleep. He wakes in his world the next day too.

It’s always been like this, a shift between his world and another. It’s always temporary, changing when he’s falling asleep. Exciting, but manageable.

 

*

Claude gets asked about Sid a lot.

“Do you hate him?” a reporter asks. Claude laughs. He hasn’t for a long time.

Sometimes they text. Sid is terrible with technology, texting like he’s writing a research paper, formal and blunt.

Sometimes Sid calls Claude when he’s drunk and they watch bad TV together over the phone, laughing at Claude’s expansive knowledge on Grey’s Anatomy.

Claude never hates Sid for real, sometimes in a competitive bubbling way, a mass of determination and frustration that consumes him whole. But he never hates Sid, easy and gentle out of the rink.

 

*

Sometimes Claude wakes up and they’re together, feet tangled under wrinkled sheets, the air smelling like sex and contentment.

Other times they’re friends, roommates, teammates. Those are Claude’s favorite days, when he wakes up in the universe of simple Sid and Claude; no hockey, no road trips, no bullshit feud to report on.

Sometimes Sid isn’t there, but usually he is.

 

*

Sid invites him to hang out frequently. Usually in the off season, their schedules more flexible and free of games, press, and practices. Claude says yes sometimes.

 

*

 

Claude wakes up in Montreal. The air is soft, buzzing with the din of a heater. Claude wakes up alone, but can feel the presence of someone nearby.

Claude says, “Sidney?” The room stays quiet.

Claude closes his eyes again. Claude counts to ten.

A small voice says, “Daddy!” Claude opens his eyes.

He’s never woken up with a kid. Claude says, “Hey, bud.” but it falls flat.

The kid jumps onto the bed and says, “Did you know we only live 20 minutes away from the Bell Centre?” Claude did not know.

“What’s at the Bell Centre?” Claude asks and sets the kid off. He can’t be more than five, bouncing with excitement. He doesn’t look much like Claude; dark hair, dark intense eyes. It’s familiar and distant at the same time. “The Habs, daddy! You know that, we went last month. But tonight Papa is gonna be there. And we have to go, I haven’t seen him in forever.” He draws out the _r_ sound and Claude needs a minute.

Claude wakes up with minimal confusion usually. Easy life, easy shoes to fill. He usually doesn’t mind waking up somewhere else. It’s simple, it’s exciting. Claude never gets bored, never gets too lonely. It works out well.

When Claude hesitates the kid goes off again. “You said you would ask Papa for tickets, remember?” His eyes look so big, hopeful and earnest - like Sid’s. _Fuck_ , Claude thinks. Because obviously this kid is theirs. Whatever they are this time.

“Let me call, okay?” The kid nods, but looks skeptical. “I promise, bud.” The kids wanders off and Claude presses the heels of his palms against his face.

He reads through his texts. There’s some new texts; one from Raff asking when he’s coming to Philly with “the little nugget,” a couple from Brayden that range from _i just saw a dude eat mayo on a hot dog and it was Fucked Up_ to _Don’t let sid be an asshole this weekend_.

He searches Sid’s name and reads through the text thread. Most of the messages are from Claude, sad pleas like _When are you going to actually come visit_ and _just because u hate my guts doesn’t mean Pat has to suffer. Get over yourself, sid._ Sid’s replies are distant; _I’m sorry, I’m trying, I’ll be there_ . Based off the frequency of messages saying _Fuck off, Sid,_ Claude guesses Sid doesn’t mean it.

Some days are harder than others.

Some days Claude wishes he hadn’t woken up.

Claude calls Sid, watching Pat - their son - bumble around the apartment. He searched through his room minutes before, trying to put together the pieces of this world. Sid and Claude have a 5 year old son named Patrick Daniel, his godfather is Brayden Schenn and he really likes legos, dinosaurs, and the Montreal Canadiens - Brayden’s new team. Sid and Claude were married five months before Pat was born; a beautiful ceremony in Cole Harbour, Sid cried and one of Danny’s sons was the ring bearer. Claude was injured 4 years ago, a bad hit and too many concussions compiled into one. Sid is still captain of the Penguins. Sid still does uncomfortable interviews and doesn’t leave voicemails. Sid left Claude two years and twenty-eight days ago. The ring on Claude’s dresser is coated in dust, grey and taunting. Sid doesn’t follow through on promises.

Some days Claude _really_ wishes he hadn’t woken up.

“G,” Sid says and it’s startling. Claude doesn’t know what to say. He plays along.

“Pat wants to go to game tonight. He’s asking me a lot about it. He wants to know if you can get him some tickets, please tell me you can.”

Sid sighs, long and broken - nothing like the Sid Claude knows. “Why don’t you ask Brayden, it’s his team.”

Claude says _Ok_ . Sid asks, “Can I see Pat after? Just us.” Claude says _I guess_. The call ends.

Waking up with friends on different teams isn’t unfamiliar, but Brayden as a hab makes Claude laugh for some reason. He looks into the hallways and sure enough there’s a picture of him next Brayden, arms occupied by a flailing, but beaming Pat. They're all clad in matching red and blue jerseys, Brayden's decorated by an A. Claude smiles bright and big looking at it.

Pat comes out of the bathroom and says, “Gotta get dressed, daddy.” Claude gets them dressed.

 

Pat wants to wear a Pens jersey, insistent and angry when Claude suggests something else. The kid has about 10 jerseys in his closet; Brayden's from Philly and Montreal, Claude’s from the Flyers, and variations of Pittsburgh’s. Most read CROSBY 87 in bold, white text spanning across the shoulders. One says GIROUX 87 and Claude’s stomach churns uncomfortably thinking about it.

Brayden walks into the apartment as Pat pulls an away jersey over his head, grinning lopsided, but happy. “Brayden!” He yells.

“Patty!” Brayden echos, but pouts looking over the jersey. “What, you move all the way to Montreal with me and then let your kid wear this monstrosity?”

Claude says, “I tried,” Brayden pretends to look sympathetic. Claude feels intrusive, wants to go back to sleep and wake up in Philly, away from this world, broken and frightening.

Claude says, “Maybe Brayden will take you to school today if you ask nicely.”

Pat jumps at that, shrieking excitedly. “Would you, Bray!” Brayden laughs, softly at says, “Sure, Pat. Let me put this stuff away first.” Claude mouths a _thank you_ , but Brayden waves him off.

“We’re gonna see Papa tonight, Bray! Papa’s gonna play you and he’s gonna score. Right, daddy?” He looks towards Claude and everything feels heavy. “Maybe. He doesn’t always score.”

Pat frowns at that, “He’s gonna score, I know so. Papa always scores for you when you go to the games, he told me so.”

“Hey, bud.” Brayden interrupts, “Why don’t you go grab your backpack, we need to go soon.” Pat bounces off and Brayden says, “Shit, man. What an asshole.”

Claude feels off kilter, his head pounding nervously. Most days don’t hurt like this. One time he woke up with a leg broken in three places and it hurt less than this.

Brayden says, “I wish he would sign the papers.” Claude doesn’t say anything. Brayden walks Pat to school, through snowy Montreal streets. Claude goes back to sleep, prays he’ll wake up at home.

 

*

 

Some days when Claude wakes up he doesn’t even think about Sid. Once he woke up in San Diego with Tavares as his roommate, both of them students at UCLA. They surfed and ate as many In n Out burgers as they could buy. Claude woke up happy and loose.

Another time he was in Jersey again with Danny and the boys. They spent the day hiking and learning how to fish. Then he was in Memphis, in Aspen, in Amsterdam, in Sydney.

Some days he doesn’t think about Sid. Some days he lies.

 

*

Claude wakes up in Philly and almost cries in relief. Brayden looks at him kind of funny all morning, but Claude shrugs and says, “Didn’t sleep well last night. Bad dreams.”

It’s an understatement.

The World Cup rosters come out and they fucking snubbed Claude. It stings, but isn’t too surprising.

Tavares texts him and PK in a group. the text says _What the fuck_ and Claude laughs because this is his life, John Tavares sending him cryptic and explicit text messages over roster snubs.

PK replies _guess G and i will have to party without you._

Sid calls and Claude pauses, hesitates over the green button.

“Hi,”

“I’m going to talk to them. Get you on the roster.” Sid begins without a greeting.

“You don’t have to.” Claude says.

“I want you there.” Sid hangs up after that, no hello, no goodbye.

“Well okay,” Claude says and gets ready for the game.

 

*

He wakes up a few days later in Columbus. He plays on a line with Brandon Saad and spends the whole day laughing.

Then he’s in Florida, humidity itching at his skin and rain thumping against the windows. He wakes up as a college student often, this time sporting gator orange and a mountain of grad school work. Ghost is his roommate and they go to a football game together, loose and free under the setting sun. Claude shops at Publix, at Wegman’s, at Safeway. He eats at Steak and Shake, at In n Out, at Whataburger. He wakes up in 18 states in 14 months and more often than not, in bed with Sid.

 

*

Sid texts him more. First it’s shit like, _there’s still space on the roster and i’m going to make sure it’s you._ Then it’s links to BuzzFeed articles about grilled cheeses and NHL logo quizzes.

Claude takes one about which NHL player he should date after doing shots with Brayden and Raff. He gets Sid and laughs so hard he cries. He sends a screenshot to Sid before passing out.

 _Am I supposed to be flattered or ???_  is sitting in his inbox when Claude wakes up.

_It was funny !!_

_Whatever you say, bud._ Claude absolutely does not smile at his phone.

 

*

 

Claude wakes up at Pitt, somewhere in an off campus dorm with Raff as his roommate. Raff’s a film major and has their apartment covered in movie posters. Claude spends the day trying to convince him to write his assignment about Charlie and the Chocolate Factory but with grilled cheese. He goes to a real college lecture and walks around Pittsburgh. He only sees 3 Crosby shirts, but it still settles something in his chest.

 

Claude wakes up in Philly again. Claude goes to practice, Claude eats lunch with Brayden and Simmonds, Claude naps, sometimes Claude goes on runs.

Sid texts him _Have you ever watched some show called it’s always sunny in Philadelphia?_

Claude barks out a laugh. _Yea dude, they did an ep about the flyers_

Sid texts back a _cool_ , followed by the thumbs up emoji and a hockey stick.

Several hours elapse before Sid sends _It’s kind of funny. reminded me of you._

_Am i supposed to b flattered?_

Sid sends a string of confused emojis and a shruggy emoticon. Claude tweets a screenshot of it, captioned _Everyone welcome sid to the 21st century._

Two thousand people retweet it and Sid texts him _I saw that, asshole._

 

*

 

Sometimes Claude wakes up married to Sid. One time they both play for Vegas, an expansion team, and sport matching A’s. Their rings are gold, etched with _I love you_ in each others handwriting. Usually though, Claude and Sid still play for the Flyers and Penguins respectfully.

Claude wakes up next to Sid, spooned beside him, hidden under the covers together.

Sometimes they’re together, but not physically together. Those times Claude wakes up with a text, a call, a post it note, even an email saying I love, I miss you, good morning, good night, see you soon.

Claude _wants_. Claude wants love and forever. He wants to wake up in Edmonton, in San Jose, in Tampa, and Dallas and know Sid will be there when he gets home.

 

*

 

They text every day, sometimes Claude calls when his fingers get tired. Sid never complains.

 

*

 

Claude wakes up a lawyer in DC. It’s not his world - the Flyers won’t play the caps again this season. A text from Sid is waiting on his phone.

 _I miss you already_.

His screensaver is the two of them underneath the cherry blossoms. Sid’s smile is big and goofy, threatening to overtake his entire face. Claude wishes he could take these things back, have them as more than just a memory.

 

*

 

Sid invites Claude to hang out during a long break and Claude says _yes, I’ll be there_ and _i’ll finally straighten out your taste in music._

 

*

 

Claude wakes up as Sid’s high school sweetheart. Sid’s still a star, but Claude teaches at an all boys private school. They have a daughter, blonde and beautiful. They have an SUV, practical and boring. They have each other.

Sid makes them breakfast, kisses Claude’s cheek goodbye, heads to practice. It’s domestic and sappy, everything Claude never knew he wanted.

 

Claude wakes up in Philly alone and yearning.

 

*

The Penguins have an off day in Jersey and Claude drives to see Sid. It’s a terrible idea probably. He changes his outfit four times before Brayden comments.

“Chill out, G. Who are you going to see, the Queen?” Claude doesn’t answer and Brayden says, “Shut  _up_. You’re going to see Sid.”

“Hey-” Claude says before Brayden shushes him.

“It’s cute. You guys are all googly eyes at each other.” Claude swats him before putting on a final shirt, black with orange buttons. Brayden whispers “Spoooooky,” as he walks out the door.

 

Claude woke up in Banff last night, in Calgary the night before, cutting his way across western Canada. Claude woke up in Philly this morning. Tomorrow he’ll wake up in New Jersey. He doesn’t know where he’ll go next, if Sid will be there. Probably.

 

Claude parks in New Jersey, Sid gets in the car and says, “Do you own anything that isn’t orange?” But Sid is smiling and Claude feels something in his chest settle.

 

Claude and Sid eat lunch in New Jersey, debate the pros and cons of following the MLS, who would win a dunk contest, _Curry all the way. He’s unreal_ , Sid says. Claude smiles a lot more than usual. Claude drives them to Hoboken and Sid marvels, _I’ve never been here_.

 

Claude woke up here once, in a small apartment with poor water pressure. It’s strange to reflect on now. Sid talks through the traffic, Claude listens, patient and interested.

 

Sid kisses Claude before he leaves, “I’m glad you came, I was worried you might not.” he says afterwards. Claude doesn’t remember the drive home.

 

*

 

Claude wakes up in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, 136 miles away from Philly, 190 miles away from Pittsburgh. Claude wakes up next to Sid. Claude wakes up in their apartment, cozy and secluded from the rest of the world.

Claude wakes up in Carlisle again. Photos of him and Sid litter the fridge. There’s photos on the walls too; them smiling sweetly, Claude mid fight on the ice, Sid and Raff laughing into their respective beers, Sid holding a small puppy.

Sid is asleep in bed, hands reached around Claude’s waist protectively. There’s small letters inked onto Sid’s hip; a crooked S and G linked together. Claude has some too, a smaller and neater sample of two C’s. They stand out against pale skin - a silent, private promise to each other.

Claude wakes up halfway between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. Claude wakes up next to Sid who greets him with good morning, go back to sleep, I missed you, i love you.

Claude wakes up in Carlisle.

Claude wakes up in his own life.

  
  



End file.
